Welcome! I'm so glad you're here. As a milspouse of nearly 30 years, and the mom of an active duty son, I write about all things military spouse and military family related, with a few side notes about homeschooling, running, and foodie life. Start here to learn more about me! 

Why Your Life Doesn't Need a Makeover

Why Your Life Doesn't Need a Makeover


"10 Things You Should Stop Wearing NOW" the title screamed at me as I scrolled through Facebook. The photo featured middle-aged women in "mom jeans," sadly oblivious to the pain their poor fashion choices inflicted on their hapless families and the general public.

Yet on Pinterest, I viewed image after image of high-waisted, faded wash denim shorts that looked an awful lot like...mom jeans. Some unwritten rule of the fashion gods deemed one look acceptable, the other not.

We're constantly assaulted by urgent lists such as "13 Ways to Fade Your Wrinkles TODAY" or "6 Foods to Stop Eating NOW." It's exhausting, really.

On a daily basis, I'm sure I'm breaking so many unwritten rules:

  • wearing at least one 'forbidden' item of clothing for my age or body type
  • eating food that is on a no-no list somewhere because it either a) had a face at some point or b) was not organically grown
  • deepening my wrinkles and increasing my risk of skin cancer through my reckless use of sunscreen or my heedless going without
  • harming myself with an exercise machine that I'm daring to operate without (gasp!) a trainer's expertise.

Even our houses aren't right.

Should we "Love It or List It?" This show features homeowners choosing between the completely made-over 3500-square-foot house they already live in or the beautiful showroom 3500-square-foot home an agent has found just for them! But it doesn't have a jacuzzi! Or the right color cabinets/carpet/tile! Am I really expected to live without a bidet??

Now I enjoy reality TV, Pinterest, and social media as much as the next person. But I'm noticing that we never think anything is enough. We're in constant makeover mode.

I had an interesting experience while living in Hawaii, which at the time was hosting the largest maritime exercise in the world, with an estimated 25,000 visiting service members from across the globe. This meant the commissaries (military grocery stores) were packed. As I grumbled about my favorite cheese being out of stock, I noticed something interesting. Uniformed sailors from other countries walked slowly down the aisles of crackers and cereal, gazing in wonder. They snapped photos on their phones. They tenderly took items off the shelves and examined them, then set them back gently.

At first glance, you might think this was due to the different packaging and atmosphere, and I'm sure that was part of it. But I suddenly looked around with new eyes. Having lived years at overseas bases, I remember returning to the U.S. and being completely overwhelmed by the wall of options involved in simply purchasing a bottle of ibuprofen. And I knew what was causing the awestruck looks.

The choices.

The near obscene amount of choices in everything from whipping cream to bandaids. It's embarrassing, really. And I thought about the countries many of them came from and how such excess and waste must seem to them.

As Americans, we're all about choice. But what if we quit worrying so much about whether our pants are the correct length or hue or if our wall color is so last year, and were... happy with what we have? Content?

In a world where 68% of the world lives on less income than the bottom 5% income level of the U.S., I'm reminded that it might be time to step back and question whether that one more thing I think I must have is truly necessary. To stop buying the hype of buy this-get that-change this now, whether it's to do with my physical self or my surroundings.

I wonder what would happen then.

photo credit: kikkerdirk

Originally published 2014, updated January 2016.

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