“Maybe you had to leave in order to really miss a place; maybe you had to travel to figure out how beloved your starting point was.”-Jodi PicoultRead More
At the beginning of the year, I saw a lot of Facebook posts and pins on Pinterest about people choosing a word to define their goals for the coming year.
Things like joy and serenity and peace. They even made beautiful little graphics of their chosen words for inspiration.Read More
While talking with a young friend recently, she lamented how little she’d accomplished during the year her husband was deployed.
“I just feel like I didn’t meet any of the goals I set for myself while he was gone,” she said as we sipped our skinny mocha whatevs at Starbucks.
“I didn’t run that marathon. I didn’t finish losing the weight I wanted—"
“Wait a second,” I stopped her.Read More
I've been a military spouse for a longish (ahem) time. Well, nearly 25 years, to be exact. While in some ways it's gone by in a flash, I will admit that there are moments when I feel like I've seen it all, heard it all, have all the t-shirts...and I can honestly become a bit jaded about this whole military spouse thing. But then I remember you. Yes, YOU, young military spouse! You, with your energy and your ideas. You, with your enthusiasm for the newness of military life and your positivity. You inspire me, make me laugh, and help me remember what this is all about.
Please go here to read the rest of my latest article for Military Spouse Magazine!
So there is a term for that post-deployment period..."re-integration", where everyone is getting used to being back together again. As much as you missed and love each other, there are always some growing pains as you get back to a new 'normal'. Everyone has changed--no matter how many times you've been through it, at the end of each deployment, you're a different person, and so is your spouse. So, the key is to adjust and adapt and be ok with the new yous. I imagine everyone experiences this differently.
I found some good stuff I'd like to pass along...Spouse Buzz is a great site that I discovered over the past few months. Lots to read there. I appreciated reading other military spouses voicing the same thoughts/fears I experienced over the course of this past year... for instance, "anticipatory grief." If you've felt it, you'll know exactly what I mean. There's lots to read there, as well as links to blogs from other mil. spouses. Here is another good post about homecomings. This one was written by a soldier on returning home from deployment. It's always good to see things from the other person's point of view.
If I could give any advice regarding deployments, it would be to have as much patience, love, and generosity as you can on the homecoming. Try to walk a mile in their shoes, so to speak, and try to imagine how you would feel if you changed places. Faith behind all of that is important to me as well. Heck, it sounds like a good recipe for marriage overall, doesn't it? :)